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On Monday morning, while wearing a dress and a cardigan on the way to my internship, a random man in the subway stairwell whistled and stared at my cleavage — which I tactfully ignored after years of practice, thank you very much. From adjusting the straps on my training bra, to staring at the cartoon nipples in my puberty book, to flaunting my new black lacy bra that fits almost perfectly, the diary of a 36DD is a frustrating, sexy, self-conscious, and exciting journey. Of course, I know the other side of the boob spectrum struggles with the opposite anxiety. Why is it that the same shirt can look slutty on one girl and stylish on another, just because of boob size? I entered freshman year with about five bras, which were all boring, full-coverage, and solid colors: The boob gods are laughing. I gasped when I saw his paintings, coming to terms with the fact that because I had big boobs and a big butt, it was inevitable I would be described as a big woman.

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Did a few eyes get distracted by my chest and forget about my accomplishment, or was I just being paranoid?

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The power of cleavage is undeniable, and I must admit I was much more successful at getting his attention than Nora Ephron would have been. In a department meeting on Tuesday, my supervisor complimented me on a recent project, causing the whole room to turn and stare. Wearing my sexuality on my sleeve is unavoidable, because all shirts somehow manage to look too low-cut, too tight, or awkwardly fitted. This past summer she was an editorial intern for MTV World's music website called MTV Iggy, writing fun things like album and concert reviews for bands you have never heard of before. Why is it that the same shirt can look slutty on one girl and stylish on another, just because of boob size? Like most mothers, her breasts doubled in size after she was pregnant; but unlike most mothers, she blossomed into a hefty size F.

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Comments

  • Edison 25 days ago

    IF only there were subtitles it be funnier

  • Cory 4 days ago

    She may still look good, but scars are still super distracting and a huge turn-off. One of Dylan Ryder's best videos /should/ be Video Store Incident, for example, but it's pretty much impossible to watch it without zoning in on the giant scar that the guy who's boning her has.

  • Javon 14 days ago

    wowww i love this bitch